"Let's Put Our Cloven Hooves Together For...!"

Free to a good home on New Year's Eve!! The light female is pregnant and due in May. Mr. looks like he has on a pair of brown slacks and a white shirt. Maybe he should be Elder __________________! We've been informed that we have enough room for 50 llamas, but why? Very very fun. Names? Mugsy freaked out when they got out of the horse trailer. Normally llamas put dogs in their place toot sweet, but I'm not sure they KNEW Mugsy was a dog! He was just a white blob charging through the snow to them! Could have been any form of rodent or even something robotic! Wish us well with our motorized floaty thing that keeps the trough water from freezing.

Bread Rising on the Hearth

If you hurry you can catch some hot bread in about an hour! Honey? Paco's Crabapple Jelly? Have it your way... My mother said if you could make homemade soup and homemade bread you could entertain kings and queens. If you know any of those who are hungry, send them over.

"This is the Worst Christmas Ever!"

I've been trying to post the last few days, but Blogger has been technically constipated or something! I wanted to write about the breakfast adventures of my homeroom class on Tuesday complete with Mr. A pouring bacon grease down the water fountain seconds before a responsible person appeared. I would also have regailed you with the description of trying to catch a gallon of Sunny D before it hit the floor and the cap flew off and trying to vacuum up scrambled eggs which had been ground into the carpet. Then one kid didn't get a gift exchange gift because he said that he'd seen the kid who chose him throw the slip of paper on the floor. I had to hustle around to find a replacement gift, but I didn't do so well at commenting on how to deal with peer rejection. Kids can be cruel and cold. I heard an explanation of the adolescent brain (or lack thereof) at a conference once. The presenter gave scientific evidence that their brains in FACT do NOT make all synapses--thus explaining bacon grease down sinks and heartless gift omissions. It's Christmas morning--way earlier than I wanted to be up. Heavy stuff on my mind--a gift I hadn't planned on receiving. Thanks to the giver...Back atcha. I guess every 55th Christmas is designated as the sacrificial "BAD" one, huh? Speaking of bad, I ran afoul of some crazy wheat! Is nothing sacred anymore? Can't I even trust wheat??????? I ground some wheat last night, made the bread as usual, but the dough was the consistency of cookie dough--no elasticity at all!!! Weird. It DID show signs of wanting to rise, though, so I cooked it. It looks leaden. I had some wheat disasters in Omaha and ended up hauling a couple of buckets across the street and pouring it out for the birds. I need to investigate this wheat--where did it come from? Why did it grind so slowly? What was the black dust it left behind in the grinder hopper? Why is it picking on ME?????? I shall exit my merry self, but I hope you have a pleasant holiday.

Kodak Moment

Here's a Festive Billboard for you! Charlie Bug looks so dapper and isn't even crying or tugging on ye olde Santa beard! He has no clue what's in store on December 25th. Next year he'll probably be with it enough to border on obnoxious, but this year he'll be pure delight...3,000 miles away...

"We Take This Infant In Our Arms..."

Our Thanksgiving weekend culminated in this special event at church. Harrison wore the blessing outfit made by my friend Dorine almost 30 years ago for Taggart. That was sweet of a friend to make that. She and her husband were also learning to make shoes--in anticipation of a time when shoes wouldn't be available. I wonder what became of those friends.

O Tannenbaum O Tannenbaum!

This is our Christmas tree in its raw natural setting. We bought a permit for $10 from the National Forest Service and took to the woods! Fortunately we haven't had snow this year (as evidenced by the ground even here in the mountains!).

Paco felled it with one mighty buzz of his chainsaw! I stood guard in case a rabid moose charged! You can't be too cautious.

These are the neighbors. They rarely come to borrow a cup of sugar, and their kids usually have dirty noses.

This guy looks straight, but we discovered upon closer examination that he had severe scoliosis at the root of his trunk. Probably on meth too.

"I've got a saw and I'm NOT afraid to use it!!!"

Now That the Dust Has Settled...

You've Been Warned...

This is probably about as important to post as information about...say... rat feces in cold cereal--or something as deadly.

Get Your Blankie! It's Storytime!

Were we the drinking sort...

I have taken a bit of a holiday from my blog "obligations". Not to worry. This video isn't an indication of my activities! I shall surface!

Dance!

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No, unfortunately I don't feel like dancing today. Not even. But this video clip always delights me. Here are a couple of quirky things about my day: 1)somebody kifed the keys to my antique typewriter case (typewriter inside) forcing me to write "KEYS!" in four foot high letters on my whiteboard. I was ticked. So ticked that I threatened to fill out a Wendy's application if the keys don't show up!! 2)I was confronted with a "female" problem today that not only took me deep into the bowels of ask.com but to a few other internet stops as well AND two calls to two doctors on behalf of this student. Sheesh. I still don't have an answer! 3)I was forced to "lockdown" until someone fessed up about what my bottle of EXPO (whiteboard cleaner) which was nearly empty but was now nearly full was full of!!!!! I tried to force a confession. Still a mystery. What is that liquid and from whence did it come??????????? It was a Black Hole of questions kind of day. No answers. Teaching--do not attempt this at home!!!!!!!!!

Hand over those feet and there won't be any trouble!!

We're going to visit these feet in Denver next week. Forgive me if I nibble. Good thing this picture was taken before I start eating them!!

The British Tube...WeeHaw!!!!

What a hoot of a commute!!!

"Let Me Be the First to Wish You Merry Christmas This Year..."

I so remember seeing this for the first time. Anyone else?

Beaker...My Main Squeeze

Beaker hangs in the corner of my classroom (just west of Skippy my resident gargoyle) and is the silent observer of all that goes (and doesn't go) on. Last year one of my students, Amber, was deathly afraid of him--in spite of Beaker's best efforts at offering gifts and peace offerings. Today, however, Beaker finds his voice and raises it in a song of joy! This Beethoven movement has a special place in my heart. My youngest son at two could not only hum it perfectly but could give rightful credit to the composer AND even the nickname of the symphony as well. He was a great parlor trick in Austin, Texas, in those days.

"This Moment of Softness is Brought to You By..."

What was that commercial? Northern Tissue? Grandmothers forced to live away from their grandchildren is cruel and unusual punishment. Anybody ever hear of the Geneva Convention for heaven's sake??????? Wasn't there a grandmother clause????? For the most part I compartmentalize these frustrations, but then not always...

1,240 Cupcakes

It's 12:07 A.M. and insomnia has set in. I guess that's the price you pay for going to sleep at 8 P.M. Actually four hours of sleep is not bad, and in some circles might even be considered a good night's sleep! I'm toying with the idea of going down to Mt. Potato Peeler's brand spanking new 24/7 gym. Over that. Cruised around at Cake Wrecks and found Mr. I'm-President-and-You-Aren't-Nanny-Boo-B00. What is this crusty sticky glob of sugar on the elbow of my robe?????? Today I was proofing a paper with the author perched right above me on my "proofing stool". I've long ago accepted that yes I have to edit 7th grade essays as punishment for being a baby beater in another life--Karma--ya gotta love it. But today I received a small pay-off. Mr. Author wrote that he was heading off to Australia to begin a new civilization with 5 other poor schmucks and by golly they were taking 3 "Douche ovens"! Maybe I'll go raid the tower of goodies that arrived from the Popcorn Factory last week. So far we've been using it as a centerpiece--shared a Pixie (it's really a turtle) with Elyse on Sunday. Hold on. I'll go take a picture.

Paco did something horribly right for Gallup and this arrived in the mail. You start at the top with little foil-covered chocolate leaves and end up on the bottom with some gourmet popcorn making brief stops in boxes in between to sample nuts, candy pumpkins and I don't know what all. Actually the snug fitting ribbon/chastity belt has proven to be the best deterrent for complete hog-ness that I've ever seen. So hmmmm....whatcha up to? Maybe I should go practice the piano. What else is new? NEWSFLASH!!!!! JUST IN FROM IDAHO!!!!!! MIDNIGHT BLOGGER PUTS ENTIRE FREE WORLD TO SLEEP WITH RAMBLINGS!!!!! ....yeah, everybody but herself probably. Hungry. Douche oven potatoes anyone? I've got some stuff on my mind. Maybe that's what is messing with my sleep. Feel free to drop out here. I'll not be offended. Anybody keeping up with The Office? I find Michael almost painful--he's such a tragic figure to me. And I'd give anything for a Dwight at my school. But then I'd need a Pam or Jim too and that just isn't going to happen. Ever. Hey! Wake up!!! Don't leave me!!! Here's a picture of my kid's leg the night before he got married. He ran afoul of a log appendage when we were out getting firewood a few weeks ago.

I wonder how that bruise played out for him on Waikiki for the honeymoon. I'm not much on beach etiquette, but I would think that stomach-turning displays of wounds wouldn't go over well. I don't know. What a long night. Long and dark. Wind is beginning to howl. Just when I start to think I have amazingly good mental health I get overrun by a funk. Anybody else out there funk-y? I feel like I'm on one of those crazy cutloose cabooses in a cartoon--you know the ones where the train car tears madly around corners and the big cartoon faces with the looks of terror and tongues lolling out zoom in and take up the whole screen? That's how I feel. Only my train car this time seems to be me and the aging process. And I can't stop it or control it. Way down at the end of the track I see myself reclined in a barcalounger in a nursing home sleeping around the clock with my mouth open and my skin sort of ashen. My lips and nose are chapped from the oxygen tubes, but I can't even have any Vicks or Metholatum becaue the petroleum in them is flammable. So I discover that butter does the trick and now I sneak that at dinner. Don't tell on me. Today I missed my bathtime because when they came around I just didn't feel like it. Now I have to wait for 3 days to catch another one. A polar fleece blanket is thrown haphazardly over my knees, and next to me here in the commons area is an old guy with his pant legs hiked up--bony legs exposed. He's in the same spot that they've parked him in during the day for the last 3 months. But his hair looks nice. On Tuesdays somebody comes to do my nails. Wednesday is BINGO and Relief Society. The nurses try hard to hang decorations for every holiday. The custodians try unsuccessfully to keep that awful awful smell at bay. How come we enter into this world with so much fanfare, celebration, and dignity and the exit is so confoundedly depressing? Anybody wanna analyze where all this came from? Go read something happy. I'm going back to bed. Send cheer.

Weeding Through Wedding Pictures

You Have Boyfren?

Poof! You're a President!

Here is someone some of you know (other than the guy to the right). Hannah (just left of him) met Obama in his capacity as her senator during a trip she took to DC a year or so ago. I believe she was there on something official--I really should get my stories straight. I'll do that and get back to you. Rather than pontificate about anything political tonight, however, I am choosing to focus on something far less global--being in photographs. Now Hannah here looks great! She has a spiffy suit, is well coiffed, and looks confident. Her regal moment is etched in time through the photograph. Obama, as well, appears on top of his game. He always looks like the groom on a wedding cake, doesn't he? Their planets were aligned to produce one great photo! I think it should be made into posters for everyone Hannah knows AND hung prominently. If I were in this photo, I would most likely have skewed my mouth--or worse still said something to the photographer just as his shutter snapped--resulting in a monstrosity good only for deleting. I probably would have shut my eyes or later discovered toilet paper stuck to my shoe. I'm not sure whether there was a line of people waiting to step into the photo beside the senator after Hannah was escorted away. I'm imagining here. Hopefully she got lunch with Senator Obama and was then given a paperweight or at least a pen or something. My point (and I do have one) is that generally speaking my photo karma is lousy. My eyes are uneven, I'm usually caught saying something out of the side of my mouth to somebody next to me, and my mouth appears not only unnatural but deformed. Why is that? I don't see a freak when I look in the mirror! Usually not, anyway. In conclusion, Hannah, be ever so happy that none of my photograph demons are yours! Now you can rejoice that not only did your diligent campaigning pay off in huge White House dividends come January, but you ALSO had the good fortune to have been in the right place at the right time with your eyes open and your suit pressed to pull off one great photo. I sincerely congratulate you on all counts. Having said that, I shall excuse myself to photoshop out the inch of white slip showing below my skirt in recent wedding photos... (note: Should you not recognize Hannah--she's a family friend and former student from way back--daughter of my principal and good friends Bruce and Cheryl, gifted writer, brilliant student, and recently graduated physician's assistant now working in the down and dirty part of Chicago while her husband continues in medical school. She's articulate and beautiful. And happy happy happy since last Tuesday.

New Trunk Monkey

Go vote!!

Insomnia

Ya gotta love 'em--those nights when you fall asleep like a baby, but then by jiminy you're wide awake at 2:30! I used to twist and turn and fret and stew when that happened, but I discovered the secret of rolling with it! Now I almost relish waking up and finding myself energized in the wee hours! Last night I woke up at 12:30 and lay in bed for awhile considering my options. A train went by (the track runs adjacent to Almosta Ranch Hadd about 3/4's of a mile away), and the search light out at the airport swept the sky a few times. I could tell that my internal clock was revving up! No chance of falling back to sleep here, so I slapped on a bathrobe and went downstairs. I put the headphones on and played the Clavinova for awhile. (Can I log that in as practice time??) Then I put away some stuff off of the kitchen island and poured myself some apple juice. Where's my knitting? My mind works disjointedly at best, but at night I am totally a victim of its random patterns. Up to my knitting loft I bounded--surely I can find something to knit up there. I got distracted by a stack of papers on the desk and read through a few patterns I hadn't had a chance to look at. I also strolled through a couple of the desk drawers and checked the ink content of four pens. And then because email is never far from my thoughts I went back down the loft stairs to the computer. Not much email coming in in the middle of the night, though, but I did check out some cd's on Amazon.com. Inevitably Mugsy had joined me now. He gets the mid-night thirsties, and it turns out that last night he had the munchies too! I gave him a chewie and settled back in front of the computer--this time with my knitting basket at my side which I'd lugged down from upstairs. Cranked up the space heater. About this time Paco must have sensed my absence. He staggered down to inquire about my state. We smooched a bit, and he reminded me that my 5 A.M. wakeup call was not that far away. I compromised by climbing back into bed and wrapping my cold legs and feet around his back. For occasions such as these I keep an REI lcd headlamp in my nightstand drawer. I velcroed it around my head and began reading Broken For You which I had read about in the Chinaberry catalog yesterday and gone straight to the library for after school. What a GREAT book--I could tell already! But then my headlamp began to flicker, fade in, fade out, flicker, fade... fade...dimming...we're losing you here... flicker...fade...fade...fade...fade...gone. Aw heck. What a waste of time. So with nothing left to do, I had to opt for the least effective use of a good block of calm peaceful night and go back to sleep. Oh, here's a picture of Paco on the nights he beats me to sleep and knows I'll want to read for awhile. What I'd really like to post is the somewhat scary one that would be of me in my "miner" light. But then that would mean that someone else was awake in the room in which case I'd just turned on the light. Right?

The Front Fell Off

I Gotta Wait How Many Months Until Easter???

We Go Back a Long Way...

On the eve of my daughter's birthday and for her...

WHY YOU ARE A KICK
1. You feed your baby seaweed.
2. You do the drama queen with such flair!
3. I can always count on you to remember special days..even if you're the only one.
4. Even when you probably have no business doing it, you still THINK you can do everything!!! And by sugar, you CAN!
5. We always get the giggles--even in places we REALLY shouldn't!
6. You are the best friend to so so many!
7. When you get in over your head (and YOU and I both know where and when...),you hang in there!
8. Look at the Domestic Goddess you've become!!!!
9. You are THE sister!
10. You picked the perfect husband and are raising such a charming son!!!!

Happy Birthday! What a better way to spend it than looking at a baby _________ leaping around in your womb!!!!!

Where Have All the Flowers Gone?

Behold the flowers! Jerry sowed wildflower seeds in the spring. They didn't come up and they didn't come up. We pulled some of them because we thought they were weeds. Then three weeks ago they burst forth into the most gorgeous, vibrant, fragant, hysterical garden you've ever seen!!! We basked in them. And then Mother Nature dropped 8 inches of snow on them. We forgive you, Mother Nature. You are omnipotent and all-knowing. You provide a nesting place for all of mankind...but I mean, Really... Can't you meet us halfway and at least let us get Halloween over?

Stumbling Intoxicated Down Memory Lane

Now I LOVE this one! This was our BYU Fieldtrip to see the Etruscan exhibit. We are all looking particularly erudite. And my favorite daughter dead center! I love you guys!!!

And One for Lizzie!!

A fieldtrip to BYU back in the day! I can't remember if this one was to see the Etruscans or the Terra Cotta Warriors. Anybody remember?? I think these guys were mimicing the dancer statue behind them.

All We Are Saying Is Give Peace a Chance!

Ah, I think I struck a nerve with the trip down memory lane...I got particularly nostalgic seeing my old classroom. How many of these hippies can you identify? Hint: the guy with the guitar is now at the "helm" of Bear Lake Middle School. The scary thing is that most of these protesters are now mothers and fathers! I particularly love Brooke's love beads. You guys ROCK!!!

Back in the Day...

Ah for a kindler gentler time--60's Day in my freshman English class back in the mid 90's before No Child Left Behind, before 9/11, before all these awesome students got a taste of the real world. We were hunkered down in our windowless classroom, rolling love beads out of bread dough and glue, brewing vats of herb tea, extracting Beatles lyrics to study as poetry, fashioning armbands and "marching" on the principal's office to stage a sit-in, tie-dyeing T-shirts out in a snowbank, inviting the counselor Mr. Belnap to bring his guitar and lead us in war protest songs. Peace. Love.

Cast Your Ballots!

All in favor of putting one of these cute little baby boys in every home in America, raise your hand! "I wanna vote! I wanna vote! Pick me! Hey, I'll vote twice!!! Me in every home!!! Yeah! Look over here! I wanna vote!"

Lily's New Boy Toy!

He's just widdow! But he's got a great big name! Harrison Edward Giles. Born on September 30 in Denver, CO. Parts look to be in place and functioning. In our family we count fingers. H.E. has 10. Good work.

5 Minute Chocolate Mug Cake

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE

4 tablespoons cake flour ( that's plain flour, not self-rising)
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons baking cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
a small splash of vanilla essence
1 coffee mug
Put dry ingredients in mug. Mix well Add the egg and mix thoroughly. Pour in the milk and oil and mix well. Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla essence, and mix again. I added some coconut and nuts at this time too. (You can also do all the above in a bowl and then pour it in your mug but why?????)
Microwave for 3 minutes at 1000 watts. The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired. EAT! Note: This can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous. And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world? Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!

The Envelope Please!

Here you go!! Good luck!



1. Flame thrower--I think Paco has it in mind to zap a few migrating birds!

2. Nearly 12--But I'd rather have been reading.

3. New Dawn--as in What's-the-big-fat-hairy-deal-with-these-vampire-books??????

4. 200--But technically I lost count around 145.

5. Cokeville Women---I can't believe how many of you wanted to use that for EVERY answer!!

6. 8--very sticky from some aphids in our trees and so long overdue--like since May!!!!!!!!!!

7. Baskets!!! I think I got you on that one. Actually the whole bathroom is full of sewing stuff. My sewing room project is sooooo slow.

8. Switzerland--Tourists from Interlaken!!! I want to say I'M from Interlaken!!! Boo hoo. We seem to have an abundance of European tourists passing through taking advantage of Fall travel discounts and an obvious lack of charming U.S. kids. I met some cool Flemish visitors on Saturday also. They wrote me out a list of all the places NOT to miss in Belgium.

9. Wood--Cokeville Women....sheesh you guys.

10. Summer clothes--Actually because our summer season here lasts just a couple of weeks, these clothes have been in the family for almost 150 years.

11. Cheese!!! I can't keep in it. The kids LOVE it. Cheese and water.

12. 25--Oh yes! And delightful they were to be sure.

13. New plates--from a yard sale--such a killer deal! Out with the very old and in with the new!

14. GPS cows--Anybody get that one? Do you think we should be doing likewise? Eating facing north or south, that is?

15. Potty chairs--Shelly called in the middle of the day. I momentarily thought something was wrong! It seems Charlie (probably smack dab in the middle of his "anal stage" (according to Freud) wants to do the potty thing. Go Charlie!



Well there you are! Zap me your totals--one point per correct answer. Thanks for playing!

Contest Extension

Owing to my suspicion that some people take a day off, I'm extending my contest for another day. Will post answers tomorrow night. In the meantime watch this great video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqaesQ2EE8w

Pop Quiz

Okay you're on your honor. Take the quiz, record your score., and email me the results after I post the answers tomorrow. High winner gets a secret prize. Not quite Pioneer Woman's $500 giftcards but nevertheless worth the participation. Ready?

Answer Pool: 25, cheese, more than 200, 8, flame thrower, New Dawn, Switzerland, baskets, potty chairs, summer clothes, Cokeville women, nearly 12, wood, GPS has revealed that the vast majority of cows graze facing north or south, new plates.

Use all answers and only once!

1. What did the UPS man deliver to our house yesterday?
2. How many hours did I spend cleaning my house (more or less)?
3. What did I return to my friend Les at City Hall?
4. How many flies did I kill yesterday?
5. What phone topic did my friend Vicki and I discuss?
6. How many windows did I wash yesterday?
7. What has now taken up residence in our bathtub?
8. What topic did I discuss with some strangers at Broulim's yesterday?
9. At the end of the day, Paco went in search of ____________________.
10. What did I stuff into a big black garbage bag for storage?
11. What did I deliver to my classroom yesterday?
12. How many guests came to my house for dinner last night?
13. What moved FINALLY from the trunk of my van into the house?
14. What "breaking news" was one of the topics of the dinner party?
15. I had momentary panic but then relaxed when I realized the phone call was just about________________________.

There you go. Answers tomorrow. I'm totally about the honor system here. BUT you must enter into my comments that you are, in fact, playing-- to be eligible.

Next, Please

One of the throwbacks to the pioneer heritage in our family is our insistance that we can make, do, or try anything we want. Particularly some of us insist on cutting hair--our own, the dogs', or more often our dependent children. Here's Charlie modeling the fruits of his mother's recent efforts, and I say, "Rock on oh ye amateurs!" Who needs formal training? I've been honing my haircutting skills for many years now--first (like my daughter) on my resident "captive" male children and then on Paco. Paco is ALL about a bargain! I figure I've saved him several hundred in stylists over the last 11 years since I first took scissors to him. Going back to a barber would mean he'd also have to forego the kiss on the neck which signifies I'm finished--he'd miss that! If you were to zoom in on Charlie Bug here, you'd see a microscopic nick in one of his ears--evidence of a random head move during a former haircutting session. He bled; mom cried. But it looks like she's back in the arena! Nice job.

YellowStoned

While you were slumbering early last Thursday, our entire seventh grade had already boarded a bus. As you were snoring gently I was scrambling madly for a plastic bag and then wiping the evidence of a motion sick student from my pant leg a mere 20 minutes into the trip. About the time your alarm went off we were pulling into the Moose Visitors Center in Grand Teton National Park. You were eating breakfast probably about the time we wrestled some string cheese and granola bars from the cargo section of the bus and busted into them in the parking lot. As you arrived at work we were most likely entering Yellowstone Park, and during your first mid-morning bathroom break we must have been de-bussing at Old Faithful. Your sandwich was going down probably almost exactly as Old Faithful was going up, and if you'd have had your computer on the Old Faithful cam (mounted discreetly in a tree) website, you would have seen us leaping and waving our arms to show up on your computer screen.

Say WHAT?????? We're on top of a volcano?????

You were glancing at the clock about the time we skipped along a boardwalk flanked on both sides by crazy steaming ponds surrounded by gurgling bubbling teapots of geothermic madness! You were asking your boss about a deadline; we were pondering the logistics of fishing in a river fed constantly by boiling water!!

You changed your ink cartridge; we spotted a shaggy mountain goat half way up a mountain!

About the time your head was nodding for an afternoon snooze at your desk, all 105 of us were peering over the guardrail at the Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone River.

You may have been jotting off a memo when we stood above the brink of both the Lower and Upper Falls. You were conferring with a colleague; we were hiking straight down the trail so that we could hover above thousands and thousands of gallons of water as they crashed several stories below us. You sharpened your pencil; we yelled at kids leaving the trail to take a shortcut. You checked your email; I grabbed a kid who narrowly escaped slipping down the side of a mountain into a gaping canyon crevice.

You were just leaving your parking lot when we chanced upon a herd of buffalo crossing the road in front of us. You were waving your arms at the bozo who darted in front of you; we hung out the windows flailing our arms at the furry beast and handed cameras across the aisle to snap pictures! "Anybody here speak buffalo????"

You sat down to a warm meal probably about the time we were looking into our individual coolers FOR THE TENTH TIME to see if that warm cheeseburger had appeared yet. Here's guessing that your supper didn't resemble the Twinkies, Snickers, or Dr. Peppers that we ate. You settled down for a couple of hours of TV; we resolved ourselves to the 6 hour bus trip home.

Final Tally: Cost of admittance to a day in a National Park--Free if you can prove you have an educational agenda.

Food (all you can fit in a small cooler): Approximately $25 (unless of course you left it in the backseat at 4:50 A.M. this morning--then you'd better hope someone is generous!)

Souvenirs: Depends on how many are in your family!

18 Hours with your favorite teachers mostly on a school bus: priceless...

A Big Day for Norm

I found a ransom note in front of my classroom door last Wednesday morning. It read: "I have your chicken. Please leave cheese in the hall. Nyahaaaaaaaa. Thank you. Nyahaaaaaaaaaa."

My seventh graders were in a panicked uproar. Norm was gone! I posted a note in the hall that instructed the perpetrators to let my chicken go and not to harm him because he knew karate! Speculation ran rampant as to who had taken him and when the crime had taken place. How would we get him back?

"Can we page Norm over the intercom?"

"Do you have a key so we can go through all the lockers?"

"What if Norm is being tortured????"

An eighth grade girl was spotted during class changes with a large bulge in a coat she was carrying? Was that Norm struggling for breath???? All of a sudden a band of emotional 7th graders took the matter into their own hands. The next thing any of us knew the eighth grader had been jumped, her coat wrestled from her devious arms, and Norm came up for air! A brief tug-of-war, a couple of chicken pass-offs down the hall, and we had our beloved fowl back!!!! Oh, it was a glorious victory! Norm appeared none the worse for the wear--although future weeks may reveal some post-traumatic stress symptoms. He's shown here with one of his adoring rescuers. Are we going to press charges? Stay tuned!!!!!!!

Over Easy

I pirated this from my daughter's blog. I see some conji in the right hand corner, so this is Asian of some sort. Trust them to take everything to the unth degree. It's a beautiful Fall Sunday morning here at the Funny Farm. I'm looking out on our fruit heavy branches-to-the-ground crabapple tree. Still waiting for the jelly patrol/brigade to show up at my door. And waiting...and waiting...Fly update-they're sticky and clingy. One wanted to ride my hairbrush this morning like a bucking bronco cowboy!!! They ALL want to be inside now that the weather is cooling off. Can't they take a hint and just DIE???? Good grief. I'm in the wrap-up stages of my sewing room floor sanding marathon. I figure I've logged a roadtrip to Cincinnati and back on my knees with a sander! And the dust--in my ears, eyes, under my fingernails, and imbedded in my scalp AND lungs. Week five on this home improvement project. By the way, how come everybody they ever pick on DIY etc. is young??????????? I think we need to start a Seniors Network! Now THAT would be worth watching. We could follow them to their colonoscopies and then to the golfcourse and off to Sizzler at 4:30 and then move the camera in as they fall asleep in front of the TV at 8:30. Seriously though, TV is soooooooooooo slanted towards being in your 20's and 30's. Rented a commercial sander from a friend on Friday, but that thing threw Paco across the room!! I knew I didn't stand a chance. Rented a smaller one yesterday (second go round with it) and did some finer sanding. Am I boring or WHAT????????? So kicking around the idea of writing some sort of love story on my blog to generate a little heat (I mean interest)--probably mine. Worked for Pioneer Woman. http://www.thepioneerwoman.blogspot.com/ Chicken soup cooking on my stove. HEY!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!!! STICK WITH ME! (shake, poke...) "Stand clear!!! We're about to resuscitate this blog! We are professionals! Do not attempt this at home!" zzzzzzzzzzzzzz....... How do you get your neighbors to nominate you to be on "Desperate Landscapes"? Could my "neighbors" live in Pennsylvania or New Jersey or Arizona perhaps....?

"Someday My Prince Will Come"

Here's Lily looking for someone in need of a little wand action! What you can't see are the glass slippers or the clock almost striking midnight. All of a sudden I feel woefully underdressed and abysmally ill-equipped without a wand! Is this fancy or what??? I saw an ad on TV (mixed in with the news about Hurricane Ike) about a couple of gals who design high heel shoes for babies who aren't even walking yet--the heels are kooshy and bend of course. I know that there's a piece of that whole kid market out there with my name on it!