Lest you ever thought my early morning conversations with Paco lacked hutzpah, never you fear--this morning (because I'm suffering from the world's longest jet lag and can't sleep past 3:45) when I returned to grab a few more in bed, I had to burrow down under to find him. Hunkered down in the warmth of his bed cave. Right before his conversation turned to something he'd watched last night on secrets in the Vatican, he asked completely out of the blue, "What are you working on?" An astute question for us all, nicht wahr? I rattled off a few things, but I've thought of some more:
a sweater for baby Paul at church
a semester's worth of new curriculum on American Novels-20th and 21st Century for my Peking University students
ideas for a 7 year old I will begin tutoring in English
exercising my gimpy hip muscles courtesy of a November bike fiasco
whitening my teeth
limiting my carbs to 25 a day
my goodreads goal of 80 books for 2017 (I'm currently ahead--usually I'm scrambling from behind!)
plans for my 4 day holiday in Hong Kong next week
my on-going scripture marking Book of Mormon project
my weekly Chinese lesson which I hack away at
reviving my blog
maintaining my 5 year Q&A diary
a daily journal
bringing my bullet journal into existence
making email contact with my students in Chengdu who are all getting ready to graduate!!!
organizing my photos from Europe
And that's a little peak into the tunnel (this one's in Amsterdam) of my mind.
Poor little sad neglected blog. Sadly shaking its head and wondering where it went wrong, how it offended, what did it do...One of the curses/blessings of my life is that I write pretty much constantly in my head a good deal of the time. Or at least I have consistently for most of my life. About 1/100000th of those musings make it onto a page. And the head writing is diminishing. (Insert uncontrollable sobbing) This blog began as a curiosity, an experiment in dabbling in new technology. Under the tutelage of my neighbor Tanner exactly ten years ago last month (huzzah...), I joined that world. I have regrets. I should have committed to daily posts. I should have included more pictures, more school stories, more deep thoughts. I should have, I should have, I should have.
Posting every day for a decade would have resulted in 3,650 posts. I have 614. Do the math. My good sense might tell me to pack it in. Obviously eating, sleeping, reading, staring into my navel have taken precedence. Sometimes I want to desert my blog--not really desert, just walk away from. Yeah, I guess desert. Another part of me wants to sprout a new blog--one where I can write anonymously and clear my head. Or one where I pick a specialty and form a tight-knit community of knitters or gardeners or sociopaths. Of the blogs I began reading ten years ago only one or two still exist. Sometimes I'll visit a site and root around all Scarlett-in-her-garden-at-Tara-after the-war-ish to see what's there. Mostly dust. WHERE DID EVERYONE GO???????????? Is there some sort of parallel on-line writing world where people are still quippy and engaging? Am I missing the party??? I suppose not. I'll put this out to the cosmos (because that has ALWAYS been my audience). The embarrassing thing here is that I sat by some lovely lovely people in the Seattle airport last week, and after a delightful hour of banter shared this blog address with them. How embarrassing is that?? And I think some of my Chinese students come here too to poke around! Nary a radish or shriveled up garlic clove...
Two choices: Quit. Remain. Bow out. Recommit. Cave. Conquer.
I realize I'm bordering on melodramatic. The cosmos I appeal to generally overlooks that.
A post a day for one week. A post a day for one week. Not a solution to world hunger--but at least a single fist shaking into the dark night.