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Saturday, May 23, 2009

Name that Play Two!

My two older kids and I stood almost exactly on the spot where the camera crew must have been for this filming when we went to the Macy's Parade in hmmmm...1989. Three feet of snow had fallen (the first snow in 50 years for the parade), and we made about 10 trips to a deli place to get hot chocolate! Great adventure! I LOVE THIS PARADE!!! I went every year when we lived thataway. Someday I'll blog about my attempts to march as a clown in it! And YES, we are going to two plays!

Name That Play!

A week from today I'll begin my two week East Coast Cultural Excursion with my 4 neighbors and another little friend. Name the musical we'll be seeing on Broadway which inspired Camilla to attack Gonzo's picture in this smashing rendition!

Two Left Feet...And Two Right Feet!

I've watched this several times, and I've decided that the secret is in the tail--sort of an equine well-placed tassle...

Friday, May 22, 2009

Celebrating...A Week Late

Oh how I love children's books. Oh how I used to love celebrating Children's Book Week. I miss those halycyon days when my work week consisted of lathering myself in children's books as I sat in a rocking chair hundreds of kids weekly at my feet as I read story after story. I was good at it, if I do say so myself. And I did it for almost ten years. When I was hired as the K-2 librarian at Antheil Elementary in Ewing, NJ, the library was very very small--about the size of most living rooms. My challenge soon became apparent--keep these kids quiet. But how? So I picked from the ample shelves the best of the best, and then I put my heart and soul into reading them. I did voices and sound effects. I sang and whistled. I learned to place very unexpected items into my pockets to whisk out. I stuck puppets on my hands and went where even few fools dare to go! In the process I learned to love those kids with a firey passion. I had the best time of my life all the while drawing the best salary given to educators of any in the whole U.S. I need to compile a list of my favorite books. Don't let me forget to do that. I'll drag out all my lesson plan books and do that! I'm going to begin reading picture books to my 7th graders. To deprive them of that would be a crime. I think I'll go up to my library now and read a few...just for old time's sake. You too!!
Here's one to start with.
And another.
I loved this so much that I made it into my one and only quilt!
And I mustn't forget The Old Woman Who Lived in a Vinegar Bottle.
I perfected one heck of a cockney accent from doing this over and over and over!
And probably my all-time read-aloud-get-them-hooked-from-the-very-first-word. I've had about 10 grown up kids tell me they still remember me reading this to them.Go get it and read it to someone you love. And then plant some snozzcumbers!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

"Whoa! Who's THIS Guy??"

"Oh my. A new face! Dalai, don't get too close, dear. I'm getting a good whiff of him. Stand back a minute."

"He seems harmless, although a little goofy-looking, AND he comes bearing gifts! Let me just taste these before you do, my love."


Thursday, May 14, 2009

In My Happy Place...yeah, right...

Let's talk turkey for just a few. One of the problems with blogs is that they require some regularity to keep a readership going. Nothing is less fun than to visit a blog expecting a fresh slice of lemon meringue pie only to find yesterday's (and the day before's and the day before that's....) same old hash. The other problem with striking up a regular correspondence with the faceless "masses" (not really a correspondence, I guess, because it is usually one-sided) is that nobody wants to read about gloom and doom or funks or burned out teachers or even stir crazy middle school boys attempting to use a plastic crate lid to "snowboard" over a couch during class. So if the blogger finds herself funky or grumpy or at a loss to describe actual events of the day, then the blog remains untended...and untended...and untended. At some point the readership drops off and goes in search of greener pastures, or they begin to assume the worst--"Oh NO!!!! Madhadder must have found out she's pregnant!!" or "Paco has taken leave of his senses and he and the Madhadder have become transients!' or "Surely someone there at Rancho Deliciouso has fallen off a ladder!!" It poses a dilema. I follow a few blogs that post each and every day and have done that for at least two years. Wow...ahhhh...ohhhhhhh...(bending and gesticulating here). I guess that makes me a sorry blogger. I like to find something positive or at least entertaining to highlight in my blog. As of late, that eludes me. But I thought I'd better drop in so that the taste of the hand-eating llama isn't what you're left with for the weekend. And in an effort to affirm that "into each life some rain must fall", I am going to take this opportunity to whine. I have a right to do that, and by sugar, I will.
1. We have had NO spring this year. This is THE COLDEST springs I have had in my entire life. The space heater is whirring behind me, I have two sweaters on. The sky is black outside. The DANG TREES aren't even budding out!!!! Pathetic.
2. #1 has worked a number on the students at my school. They are UN fricking believable!!!!! And so say ALL of us!!!!!!
3. Our school budgets have been mascerated to the point that we may be forced to take up part-time work to even produce pencils and paper! It's bad, folks.
4. All I had for lunch today was a can of mussels in cottonseed oil. One of the kids gave me a Tootsie Roll, and THAT'S IT in the way of food today!!!!! I'm hungry!!!!!!
5. I'm sick of my winter clothes!!! Oh, so so so so so so SO!!!
6. My house is unkempt. Paco (bless his heart) is putting our deck in. I miss my maid!
7. For the first time in my memory, the Mother's Day gifts at church were on BACKORDER!!!! BACKORDER???????????
8. A pink spot has appeared on our white carpet.
9. I'm tired.

Anybody else out there wanna vent?

Still No Baby...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Overheard at TacoTime Today

(as they're busily busting out my burrito)

1st Female: So do you think it's better to break up with a guy while he's in jail or after he gets out?

2nd Female: Oh definitely before he gets out because then you have time to get over him before you see him once he gets out. Definitely give yourself some time to heal before you have to face him.

Me(to myself): Honey if your dating pool extends no further than the county jail AND you're rolling burritos for a living you made some wrong turns somewhere. God bless ya...

Random 12:52 A.M. Thoughts

--I've never ever ever seen kids behave inappropriately in standardized tests like I did my 7th graders today. Oh my goodness, a regular study in Darwinian Evolution of the Species. Some of us just aren't evolving.
--That novel I capriciously grabbed from the library about life in a polygamist cult (no doubt inspired by Texas) is total trash. And to think that the author dedicated the book to her writing group...I speed read it just to see what happened to Celeste. She left and took the baby. Run Celeste!!
--I accidentallly witnessed Obama getting frisky with Dalai in the corral yesterday. The book said he might try such hormone-driven shenanigans right before the baby comes and should therefore be isolated! Well I should say SO!! That's just wrong!! Run Dalai!!
--I should have taken a feet picture of one of my students and myself today. She had on mucluck snowboots, and I had on bare-toed Berkies. And so it goes in Brrrrrr Lake in May...
--I'm thinking I need an Almond Joy.
--How many times will I need to listen to the joke about the president and pigs might fly?
--Isn't the best???
--Paco planted 5 trees this weekend. He put in a front planter today.
--We've got tickets to two plays on Broadway in June!!!
--I've sorely neglected my friend in the nursing home the last few weeks for which I will most likely fry in Hell.
--I'm going to read at least 3 books a week this summer. I've got them all stacked up. Ask me how I did come September.
--I have some really really really fine cousins.
--Paco and I are looking into getting a chipper. That worries me a little because of that one guy in Wisconsin a while back who put his wife's remains in one. She ended up as mulch all over their yard. Mostly I'm hoping we just put branches and leaves in ours if we get one.
--A weekend ago Paco and I took a clean-up assignment at the Deseret Cannery in Ogden. Picture about an acre of stainless steel machines sprayed down with foam cleaner and you and a bitty little crew of 5 scrubbing it down meticulously with a potscrubber. Hose down AND REPEAT!!!!! You read that right!! Wow...that is actually the official mission of a handful of white-haired saints...Monday through Friday. Oh my. Why did I keep thinking of that old joke about picking up tacks out of manure in hell?
--I think if I had any more than the 14 days left of school that I do I might begin using vast amounts of duct tape inappropriately on my students. I still might.
--Somebody on Facebook today wanted to know if I had ever known a Daniel Hightower in New York. Do you get random requests like that? Hmmmm...
--I feel like going camping soon.
--There is absolutely nothing but good food to eat in this house at the moment. Sprouts, wheat bread, kiwi and two avocados. Just what am I supposed to do with THOSE in the middle of the night? Come on!

--I have a marvelously great friend who goes to the Provo D.I. REALLY often. I LOVE that about her!! She finds such treasures and is so generous with sharing.
--On the night that Celeste was married to Mr. Merritt (the father of Jon whom she really loved and had met by the river to kiss frequently), after the ceremony everybody (our heroine was wife #7 so you can imagine the cookies needed) went down in the basement of the church for cookies and punch. Then he takes her to his home/motel and shows her the wing that he and she will fill with children. But the part that brought me to my heaven imploring knees was the box delivered from her father to her new digs. It contained a nightgown and one dress. Isn't that tragic??? Run,!
--Tomorrow a hunk of our students are off to the district track meet. It'll be one heck of a "day at sea" for anybody who tries to teach tomorrow! The downside of a small school...
--I think I might have ingredients for ice cream around here.
--I was really surprised that Celeste was able to take the baby with her when she left. I guess Mr. Motel Manager had a few DOZEN to spare.

--Today I had Student #1 look up "insubordination" in the dictionary and read it loudly and clearly to Student #2 whom I promptly exported to the office. Toot sweet.
--I'll wrap it up. Saturday I heard chitter, flutter, scratch coming from the closet next to the computer here. Wanting no part of chitter, flutter, scratch I went in search of a big strong man. I found one. Our dryer vent is now de-nested, duct taped neatly back together, and we have sent some poor mother-to-be hiking. Good night.

Monday, May 4, 2009

The Man, The Legend

Let's give it up for my son-in-law Dave shown here with a kid on his back, an infant in front, and cubs all around learning how to orienteer in the wilds of Maryland's woods. If ANYBODY appreciates good fathering I do! Believe me!!!!! I can spot a notable dad at 50 paces...This one is a Keeper! Shouldn't this be on one of those billboards???????? Pass It On!!!

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Fat Boy!!

This is my grandson, Harrison. He's taking his first camping trip in Moab this weekend. Raining here--hopefully not there. When his father was a baby like this, we used to roll him around our whole apartment while he giggled. People used to stop me on the streets in Bloomington, IN, where we lived to admire him--he was THAT cute. And THAT fat as well!! Roll on oh ye billowing tufts of baby fatness!!!!

Friday, May 1, 2009

Everybody Head on Over!

You owe yourself this--click here. Read the May 1st post--"Ways I Fail" and all the comments. Oh my goodness funny....

At the Risk...

I'm taking bets on how long it will be before one of my readers (probably one of the ones with whom I have shared genetic combinations) comments that this is Pixar or someone like that. The original blurb stated that engineers did this. So there...

Favorite books

  • Me 'n Steve
  • Thundering Sneakers
  • James Herriott's vet books
  • The Count of Monte Cristo
  • Travels with Charley
  • A Walk in the Woods
  • Peace Like a River
  • The Egg and I
  • Mary Poppins
  • Extremly Loud Incredibly Close
  • How Green Was my Valley