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Thursday, April 5, 2012


Last week I almost stepped on a petrified squirrel in the parking lot between the police station and the library. It was a huge specimen--perhaps made even more so by its complete smashedness. Something extra heavy had come its way, no doubt. I was taking the same route today during my lunch break, and subconsciously kept an eyeball on the lookout. You can imagine my surprise when in the exact spot as last week's Rocky J. was a banana peeling! So here's my question: Is it possible that things are happening in nature that we just aren't aware of because we miss it? Could squirrels, in fact, transmogrify (I am not 100% sure that is a word, but it feels like it is) into banana peels under the right conditions which heretofore have just not been documented by science?? If John Carter can find himself lying in a cave in what looked to be southern Utah one minute and suddenly in a hatchling nursery on Mars the next, I'm not so sure anything anywhere anytime should be ruled out! Common sense tells me that scientists cannot now or have never been capable of being everywhere at all times graphing data and keeping track of EVERYTHING! Everything is so very much, you know. Along these same veins, I wonder if scientists ever stop and say, "Hey! Enough of this scientific method! Let's do something really bizarre and random! Let's crush Smarties and feed them to these cancer cells! Ready, set...GO!! Hey wait! Stand on one foot while you do it!" I'd made a heck of a scientist.

Paco went on a bit of a cattle round-up the other day. Forty some odd cattle needed to be moved from here up the road a few blocks is all (I guess that makes it a super mini drive), but scenes of City Slickers are certainly relevant here because Paco rescued a calf who got into the water trough somehow!!! Yippee Ki Yi Yo!! I asked if he had to do CPR. Nope. But he does say he will miss #51 and hopes little #18 gets healthier.

Have I mentioned lately how truly truly truly truly truly truly truly truly difficult my job is? Maybe I haven't, but I should. So I did. You wouldn't understand unless you're there--right in the arena...every day...the bell rings, you stick that mouthguard in, your new fresh opponents rush in, you don your gloves and take it in the gut over and over and over. First from the feds right on down from the state. And what they don't knock out of you, the kids will. Over and over. I could write a book. "But Mad!! I thought you loved your job!!!!!" I have a very passionate love/hate relationship with it which is actually twisted and sinister. I told someone today I felt like teaching grammar must be much like skating on bacon grease on a rink in a whirlpool. That's all I'll say about that.

I see Charles Manson is due to be paroled. They say he's difficult--ends up with sharpened pens which he seems to think he can joust with. AND they've caught him with cellphones TWICE!!!!! I know!!!! Where do you go punishment-wise when you need to discipline someone imprisoned for life??? No ice cream for a week? Rougher toilet paper? Cut his magazine subscriptions? I still recall the empty satanic eyes through which he sneered at us all in 1969. His photo at 77 reminded me of an eccentric mountain man. I see similar-looking specimens in the grocery store here sometimes--I wonder what he's been up to lo all these many years. Ahhh...the 60's.

We're reading Maniac Magee in one of my classes. I challenged them all to see how long they could run on a railroad track. I'll keep you posted on that. So far one kid made it a foot. Maniac RUNS a-l-o-n-g the track! Runs.


Season said...

I now feel it is my duty to use "transmogrificationalism" in a sentence at least three times a week. And I agree, you would make a FANTASTIC scientist. If the teaching thing doesn't perk up soon, maybe a career change is in order?

Patti said...

That's my scientific process so I think you would make a brilliant scientist. All other thoughts have flown from my head since I'm still trying to catch my breath from watching Downton Arby. *whoo boy* Hysterical.

Favorite books

  • Me 'n Steve
  • Thundering Sneakers
  • James Herriott's vet books
  • The Count of Monte Cristo
  • Travels with Charley
  • A Walk in the Woods
  • Peace Like a River
  • The Egg and I
  • Mary Poppins
  • Extremly Loud Incredibly Close
  • How Green Was my Valley