Alps 2006!

The river flowing through Interlaken, Switzerland looks like it's flowing with Crest toothpaste!

Three days after we hiked here below the JungFrau, a huge huge (able to cover small countries) part of the mountain slid off in an avalanche. Grindelwald (where we had stayed in a hostel two nights before) was filled with dust for a day! It was in all the international news. Yikes!

Madeline L'Engle

Madeline L'Engle died today at 88. I'm pausing to pay tribute to her and thank her for being a significant person in my life. When I was ten years old I was confined for about four months with hepatitis. My Aunt Dorothy sent me her new Newbery Award book for the year, A Wrinkle in Time. I remember how wonderful it was to escape the tedium of my sick bed by reading that book. I LOVED it. Her book, Two-Part Invention, about her marriage also impacted me. Read ALL her books!! I met Mrs. L'Engle at a tea sponsored by Victoria magazine at the Park Hotel in New York City about 11 years ago. My friend Bonnie and I attended the tea which was quite a posh affair--women in hats and gloves, little cucumber and cream cheese sandwiches, and mints shaped like little teapots. When the time arrived to buy books and have Madeline autograph them, Bonnie and I only had credit cards which they wouldn't take, BUT they DID let us write out IOU's!!! We couldn't believe it!!!! I've never been ANYWHERE that would let me write out an IOU let alone smack dab in the middle of New York City!!!! Thank you Mrs. L'Engle for being such a gracious woman, smashing author, and most of all for being so willing to trust us! Carry on. I was always so jealous that you were the next door neighbor of one of my other favorites--M. Scott Peck. How you must have enjoyed each other.

Flies

I really could sit around all day and blog. It keeps me sharp. I never know what will come out onto the page, nor do I know whom I will offend or inspire or push over the edge. Today I feel pressed to write about flies. Some of you may or may not know that I work during the day as a 7th grade English teacher, but I also moonlight as a fly hit man. Who would ever guess that 54 years into this party I would FINALLY discover that I do indeed have latent talents in this department! For instance, yesterday I was on duty. My beat held its regulars--the out-of-control-in-your-face guy who is almost as big as a hummingbird. He zooms around the house at full throttle looking for a new place to land (and probably defecate which is what flies do every time they land. Right??). I grabbed a nearby swatter---I have strategically placed a fly swatter approximately every 3 feet withing my grasp. Now the chase was on. My method is not as scientific as Jerry's. He slaps where he predicts the fly will land and has about a 99% positive return rate. I prefer to swing the swatter and bang it down randomly. I somewhat resemble the one time I played golf. I chased this fat boy around the kitchen, circled with him as he teased me at our compost tub, clipped a wing at a window, and then he headed upstairs. Sensing that I had him at least cornered, I tore up the stairs two at a time swinging the swatter in a menacing manner and yelling in my best Nazi gestapo voice, "You villain! I vill get you!!!" When I got into the bedroom, I paused to listen for his motor. Silence. I swatted the floor a few times to let him know I meant business and he'd better come out and play fair. No fly. But I had time and could wait. And wait. And wait. Three chapters later still no fly. Now my experience with flies (and believe me it is vast) has taught me that seldom do flies die of heart attacks or emphysema. Nor do they calmly open doors or sneak back outside through the screen cracks through which they entered. Besides, he was probably off breeding and would hopefully tire of even that and reappear. Later last night I took a portrait of Taggart off the wall in the library to move it up and AND THERE HE WAS!!!!! SLEEPING!!!!!!! Well, I went balistic!!!! My evil twin wanted to start chucking books at him! Corner him in a mayonnaise jar and remove hairy body parts with tweezers while he screamed for mercy!!!!!!! With all the skills I could muster I grabbed a swatter, went into my wind up, and smashed that sucker!!!!!!!! He smeared all over the wall, my swatter, and I think he even hurled a kidney in the direction of my how-to books! I'll teach him how-to...$#@!)!_#)$$(%(($))_#@()#@++!)@)#((($ I may be over the edge here. Today I comtemplated taking the blinds down to see if flies were breeding in the inner workings--you know that bar at the top? I think I'm hallucinating too. Now I see tiny little flying objects. I think they're F.I.T.'s (flies in training) and they seem to outnumber their elders by about 20 to 1. More on this later. Duty calls. bzzzzzzzzzz.....*$((*(&*(??@$#!!!

Wa Wa Wa!!

All I seem to have attracted on my blog are WHINERS! I go into the comments looking for positive affirmations and all I read are: You're dropping out here! You're not writing comments back! You have a dirty nose!!!
Sheesh. Is this blogging just another responsibility??? I'm feeling some pressure to keep it going--sort of like a plant that needs watering or a dog you have to potty! I say to one and all -- I HAVE A LIFE TOO!!!
There I've vented. We're sweating here. It's hot and we're getting cranky. I'm in the process of breathing life (now, THAT'S NOBLE!!!) into my library. We got some really tall IKEA bookcases and I immediately began to load one up with my "vast' media. The idea was to have aisles (like a real library!), so I stuck a shelf kind of in the aisle position of the room. When I came back a while later, it had crashed to the floor, my videos and dvd's were scattered all over @$#%^$#!!, and now the wall has been gaping wounds. A tragedy of gargantuan proportions. I guess we'll have to fill up the holes and slap some more paint up. Putting books on shelves shouldn't be THAT big of a deal....unless you have to put them all in categories and alphabetical order. The older I get the more that way I have become. I guess I need to spice up this blog with some pictures. So anyway, what does blog mean? Is it an acronym? Best liberal offerings galore? Belly laughs or grins??? I'm just musing here. Maybe it's a combination of block and log or something. Anybody know the derivation of the word? Sweating here. Dripping all over the keys. Sticky. Grouchy. Thirsty. Book plus log equals blog. Actually it sounds more like a caveman name. Blog hungry!!! Blog make fire!! Blog hunt beast! Blog no like your face! So, there. I'm agonna post this. I guess I'm setting myself up for some more whiney wieney comments out there. OK. I have a question. Do you like look every day to see if I've posted???? Am I supposed to keep that good of track of you??????????????????? A little more info on blogness here, please. I realize the majority of my readers are yucking it up in California. I can't believe THEY have time to critique my blog, but nevertheless they are running home from Disneyland to fling some mud at my blog!!!! Enough already!!!!! Go put your mouse ears on the think happy thoughts. In the meantime, I'll try and be more regular. Prunes, anyone????

Helloooo out there in Blogland!

Not dead here. Aw go on, you say? It's true. My bones are still kicking around this old earth. If I were being paid to blog I'd have been fired by now. Someone needed to coach me through the initial stages of bloghood. Shame on you for not!!! My current excuse is that my laptop is permanently sleeping or someone euthanised it when I wasn't looking. At any rate I have to share --- and in spite of having grown up with Bert and Ernie I don't share well with others! Hey, speaking of Bert and Ernie!!! I want a cookie! Send COOKIES!!!! So today we did the family thing in Utah. Ah the family thing...ya gotta love it. Actually today we were welcoming my sister and brother in law home from their mission/adventures in Uganda. Now huddle up for this one--my B.I.L. Doug is an anal WAIT!!!! DID I SAY ANAL????? I meant AVID journal keeper. He has volumes and volumes and bookcases full of these intricate entries. Rumor has it that when he gathers his clan (they number in the dozens now) he READS out of these journals to them....six years ago on Christmas, when Noelle was born yadayadayada---(I think his journals are one of the coolest things about him, actually, And he is way cool--been in our family since I was 9 for heaven's sake) Well, for the last 7 years he's been journaling on his computer. A few weeks back he put all 7 years on a thumb drive. Smart move????? Au contraire, naiive reader!!!! Some nasty bandit Ugandans broke into their house and snatched away that thumb drive which was resting inconspicuously in a brief case side pocket!!!!!! Are you just gasping???????????? I nearly wet myself at this point in the story being the English writey bookish sort that I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Poor poor poor Doug...It knocked all the wind out of his sails for journaling. Well, I GUESS SO!!! But the rest of the story is that a missionary couple is bringing the computer home with them soon, good son Darrin is going to take it to work with him at the F.B.I. (Can you hear the cavalry sounding in the distance???? Oh reader! Let it swell in your breast!) and they're going to extract all 7 years. I'm sobbing here...Isn't that a great story? Aren't you glad I'm back??? Now comment and I'll write more and you'll comment and you'll send COOKIES!!!!! Right???? Oh, I have so much more to say. Another time. Au revoir.

President's Un-Birthday Day

Nothing is more depressing than to be halfway through the vacation day that you so looked forward to. Nothing, that is, except realizing that you have a mound of 7th grade English projects that you must grade or dispose of somehow within the next 20 hours. I remember thinking one day when I was a children's librarian that I couldn't shelve ANOTHER book!!! EVER!!!! A scary place to reach when that is a large part of your job!! So it is with correcting papers! I think I may puke all over them!!! And how would I explain THAT?????? Nevertheless they await--like the silent gargoyles on Notre Dame-- I'll tell you something else depressing. You were looking too cheery anyway. Here's what's depressing--YOUR face missing from a COMPLETE (as in all siblings and spouses) family photo taken on safari in Uganda a few weeks ago!!!! Don't they know that every word they ever speak about that trip ever again will be like a dagger in my jealous heart?????? Oh well, go have a piece of un-birthday cake for this un-birthday day on which we celebrate the births of two presidents who have moved so far beyond this world that I'm betting they can't barely even remember it!!!!! Go cogitate on THAT one.

No Skinny Dipping in Minnesota!

Hey one and all,
I just returned from a wild and wooly 10 days with my daughter Shelly and her husband Dave and new offshoot, Charlie. I did all the new baby things--counted toes (and fingers!!! In our family occasionally a baby shows up with 6 fingers!!), held an object up to be tracked, folded and refolded all the cute little baby outfits, picked crud out from between little toes, kissed little toes, Q-tipped all the little nooks and crannies, and basically did the grandma thing. It was blessed cold there! -35 one day. Had meatballs at IKEA. Traipsed around the Mall of America. I got an amazing bargain at the Prairie Home Companion Store. Have you seen The Queen? Go. Good movie. When does one get quippy and clever on these blogs??? I'm much more original in my emails. Perhaps I'm a Blog Late Bloomer. At any moment I'll probably erupt into downright brilliance! Until then I'm going to take some blogging lesson from Tanner and hope he can turn this all around. Shuffling off, Mad Hadder