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Saturday, September 8, 2012

An Open Letter to the Animal Kingdom

Please be forewarned that any and all animal life entering the residence of Paco and the Mad Hadder who have NOT been domesticated, named and given a bowl of food and water by said Paco and Mad Hadder will be dispatched immediately.  This includes (but is not limited) to those of you who crawl, fly, leap, slither, or dart.  As for the squirrel who sprinted in last night and is now sequestered in the cellar, you have been warned!  One tiny tooth inserted into our food storage down there will necessitate immediate declaration of WAR!  Touch just one potato and your fate will be sealed.  Heretofore mice have been semi-tolerated.  The residents have placed posion and then semi-good humor-edly disposed of the remains.  The rodent who DIED in the washing machine bin recently has necessitated institution of a zero tolerance policy.  ALL FOREIGN INTRUDERS BE THEY BAT, MOUSE, SQUIRREL, COYOTE, BIRD, FLY, OR WILDEBEAST WILL BE MERCILESSLY BROOMED WITHOUT FURTHER ADO.     ...The Management


Season said...

Well, I'd like to know what happened with the unwanted dogs in your life. Especially the ones that left you all sorts of fun surprises in your front lawn.

Patti said...

It's time. You have been tolerant beyond all expectations. Exterminate!

Mad Hadder said...

The dogs are still at large. We leashed and led Snoopy down into the cellar to hopefully roust out the squirrel, but he was unsuccessful. Holly (the hyper bird killling one) is fast becoming Public Enemy #1.

Favorite books

  • Me 'n Steve
  • Thundering Sneakers
  • James Herriott's vet books
  • The Count of Monte Cristo
  • Travels with Charley
  • A Walk in the Woods
  • Peace Like a River
  • The Egg and I
  • Mary Poppins
  • Extremly Loud Incredibly Close
  • How Green Was my Valley