Thursday, July 1, 2010
It has come to my attention that during my three week hiatus as your caregiver you have fallen into the path of sin and are wandering. Paco says that you disappear each morning around 8 and don't return for at least 12 hours. When you DO surface you are dirty, bear signs of having swum, and are sticky. Now, Mugsy, I understand your situation. You were bred for hundreds of years to sit in the laps of Chinese aristocracy. Life on a farm is just a temporary gig for you until your REAL family claims you and you are placed on a diminuative satin pillow. At least this is YOUR take on it. I know you've complained that you want MORE. We've discussed this before. But being a farm dog enforces certain rules upon you. 1) you stay at home within the confines of our 8 acres 2)you shy clear of all sticks, burrs, sap and anything else that will embed in your white long hair 3)we need to know where you are!!!! Good Grief!!!!! and 4)irrigation ditches are swirling pools of DEATH and OFF LIMITS You are guilty on all 4 counts.
Tonight as I bathed you I found some remnants in your hair that lead me to believe you have possibly discovered an oasis. Are we to understand that you are lounging on the banks of an exclusive waterhole sipping mint juleps? The maraschino cherry-like bits found several places on you just leave me clueless. Might I also surmise there are females involved? Once again, dear, though the truth is painfully blunt, YOU WERE DE-WOO-ED! It just ain't gonna happen for you, Mugsy. Furthermore, any shenanigans involving Snoopy only spell YOU KNOW WHAT!!!!!!!!
We're inploring you. Come home!! Stay home!! Leave your errant bachelor habits! Restrain from ditch dipping! Put down the life of day tripping. Come explore here!! We'll set up an obstacle course! I'll make espresso!! For the love of all we hold dear...