How It All Came Out Today

I can't really speak for everyone, but at OUR house the decades are fairly spinning--like a giant Groucho Marx You Bet Your Life spinner with a sneer on its face.  Why, it seems only yesterday ("Can I?  Huh?  Huh?  Can I?  Not 'til I'm 50?? Awww heck.") that I was toddling off to my very first colonoscopy.  Omaha it was.  2004.  And now a decade later...

I'm not going too far into details, just can't resist the highlights.  Paco left the house early early today to get a crown on a tooth he broke.  One car is in the shop, so I said all gallant like, "Ill just walk."  We live about 3 miles from the hospital, but the day was above freezing--bikini weather for Brrrrrr Lake.  Now, I'm just vain enough that I took some extra time today getting ready.  Don't want anyone examining my ROOTS along with my colon!  Neither do I want to become legendary for fuzzy legs.  Needless to say my pastoral walk into town turned into alternate speed walking/jogging as I raced the clock.  It seemed too early to solicit friend help, and besides my phone was dead.  With a mile left and my appointment time behind me, I hailed down a car.  She waved merrily and passed me by.  Then I got aggressive and stepped out in front of the next truck, flailing both arms this time.  And THAT is how I ended up being delivered to my colonoscopy by a Peruvian sheep rancher.  Honestly.

P.S.  Who knew my procedure included lunch in the cafeteria for me AND my newly-crowned designated driver!  AND I got an A FREAKING PLUS on my colon!!!!!!!!  Whoooo--eeeee!