'Twas the Night Before Scout Camp"

We're busying our pre-Christmas wacko selves by doing an 8 part writing assignment based on Christmas (a direct violation of the First Amendment, I am aware) topics. We wrote a rebus letter to Santa Claus, described a food that shows up only during the holiday, and a few others. The most challenging part of this assignment has to be the 20couplet poem after the fashion of "A Visit From St. Nick." I read a smashing poem about an elk hunt today. But my favorite related in-my-face story came from a young lad who described something that happened at Scout camp last summer. The leaders had put together what they called a "John Colter Relay" which involved racing around the lake there at Camp Barlett and having to accomplish scout-related tasks at different checkpoints all the while being conscious that they were in a race. At one point the scouts had to stretch a rope across a fire pit and build a fire underneath it. The object was to be the first to burn through the rope. This kid's troop was cruising! They were neck to neck with a Utah troop! Home Stretch time!! At the peak moment when their fire was leaping right up to burn that rope, a punk from the sinister Utah competitors sashayed over, squatted, and passed gas right on the fire!! You may be as surprised as I was to learn that it distinguished the fire!!!! I had so totally believed that gas would have the opposite effect! Needless to say one fart story in 7th grade opens up to two three four and then TEN good gassers retellings. I was laughing so so hard.