Autobiography Stew

"We interrupt this blog to bring you 70 plus autobiographies straight from the pens of pubescent adolescents straddling twelve and thirteen!" And if you multiply each of those tweens by an 18-page paper, then you can account for pretty much every waking second of my life for past two weeks...editing. We started off by looking at our lives like a "stew" (more a gorp)--raisins are our early years (we come out wrinkled), goldfish are our school years (fish swim in schools--Incidentally, did YOU know that only 40% of those Pepperidge Farm goldfish have smiles?), peanuts (we have nuts in our FAMILY), marshmallows (what we're soft and squishy about, what we love), m&m's (me! me! me! stories about ourselves), crackers (things that crack us up), animal cookies (animals in our lives), and bugles (blowing our own horn--what we're good at!). You get the picture. I've read some great great things and giggled and tittered. I'll pick out some good stuff to share. For now, I wanted to post this great little ditty I just chanced upon (the very random nature of the greatness of these papers keeps me reading!!! The good stuff is tucked away in there!) a few minutes ago: From a "Bugle" chapter--
"I always have an animal to take care of. My dad always asks me what might be the problem with an animal, and I can usually figure it out so we don't have to go to the vet. Once we had to pull (a bovine obstetric term that means exactly what it sounds like. Thanks, James Herriott) a dead calf, and it was stuck. I told them the front legs had to be with the head or we'd be pulling against the legs. Before we could find the legs, the head was already out, and the new calf was actually breathing! All of a sudden the cow fell over dead, and we had to do a sea-section (I left that charming error there. We've actually had quite a few descriptive sessions on why a C-section is called that--complete with some diagrams. I try to be a full-service teacher...). Then we cut her open, and I got the calf out. It turned out that it was twins, and they both survived! Only the cow died."
This delightful girl goes on to explain that she also works at her uncle's meat-processing plant cutting and wrapping meat. She furthermore confesses that she's not like other girls her age. Well, I guess NOT!!!!!! Off to read more papers.