Scarborough Fair

If you pass by me today and get an uncontrollable urge to joust, devour roasted turkey legs, or weave daisies into a chain, I take no responsibility.  Paco handed me a pint Mason jar while I was showering and asked me to rinse my hair in its brown contents.  THAT is why I will smell aromatic, and THAT is why you may suddenly imagine yourself at a renaissance fair!

"Rosemary and thyme have been used for centuries to darken hair and keep it soft and silky.  They also have natural antiseptic properties, which give this rinse the added bonus of keeping your scalp healthy and clean.  After several uses, you will notice the results.  Herbal rinses need to build up over time, but the advantage is that your hair will darken subtly and naturally."

I'm not sure I need to darken my hair. Black to blacker?  But one should never look down one's nose at soft and silky.  He got this recipe from a Mother Earth News source and steeped it overnight on the kitchen counter.  I'm a willing guinea pig, but I'm all but certain the next rinse he's contemplating will be infused in vinegar.  Croutons, anyone?  But then it promises "shine"...

In the meantime, I'm going to lace up my bodice, plait my hair with pansies, and grab my mandolin.  See you at the fair!

Friendly Persuasion

Most mornings I awake to somebody twanging about lost love, or Red Solo Cups, or Tijuana Brass on the clock radio.  This morning was a soul-warming exception.  Instead I got Pat Boone crooning in his buttery voice these lyrics from my ALL-TIME FAVORITE movie, Friendly Persuasion, from the book by the same title:

Thee I love, more than the meadow so green and still
More than the mulberries on the hill
More than the buds on the May apple tree, I love thee
Arms have I, strong as the oak, for this occasion
Lips have I, to kiss thee, too, in friendly persuasion
Thee is mine, though I don't know many words of praise
Thee pleasures me in a hundred ways
Put on your bonnet, your cape, and your glove
And come with me, for thee I love
[Instrumental Interlude]
Friendly persuasion
Thee is mine, though I don't know many words of praise
Thee pleasures me in a hundred ways
Put on your bonnet, your cape, and your glove
And come with me, for thee I love.

This delightful movie chronicles the struggle a southern Indiana Quaker family experiences when Civil War skirmishes strike close to their farm.  The son, a non Psycho Anthony Perkins, wrestles with his conscience and his conscientious objection religion.  Promise me you'll get it and watch it.  Then sashay down to your library and get the book, written by Jessamyn West, a cousin of Richard Nixon and a Quaker herself.  Read ALL her books while you're at it!  Especially Cress Delehanty.  I think I could be a Quaker.  If I was looking for a religion...I like the peaceful premise which translates into such peaceful pronouns.  P.S.  Good friend Scott sang this at the little reception following our wedding.  That is a good memory.

Ode to Paco

Paco and I are approaching our 15th anniversary. That may not sound like much to seasoned veterans of marriage.  But rather than lament about that, we've chosen to celebrate in grand fashion--more on that later, AND it will come with an ALERT because you may run screaming from the computer, "I HATE THE HADD'S!!!!!  I'm pausing to make a list of 60 marvelous magical things of a Paco-vian nature:

•  keeps the home fires burning literally (we heat partially by woodstove)
•  scrubs the kitchen floors
•  is the master of uber intelligent conversation (I maintain that he's the smartest person in the whole gosh darn state...)
•  does the wash
•  womps up some pretty mean French dishes
•  walks the dog
•  pays the bills
•  never EVER complains when I take off for a night, day, week, month...
•  will go to the temple with almost no notice at all
•  disposes of mice
•  fathers 9 alpacas
•  calls his mother every week
•  brings flowers on occasion (in the first 5 years of marriage when he had ready access to fresh flowers in Penn Station he brought them WEEKLY!)
•  attends school board meetings just for fun and makes wry remarks to people around him 
•  is my live-in substitute teacher ( LURVE this one!)
•  brings me breakfast EVERY single day
•  warms up the bathroom for me to take a shower
•  delivers anything I ever forget to my school
•  goes on provisional shopping trips
•  sews sleeping bags, backpacks, and polar fleece items
•  does copious amounts of internet research on a topic I might just casually mention AND binds  it into ready reference books (I'm not making this up!)
•  maximizes EVERYTHING i.e. vacation plans etc. When you travel with him you accomplish 3 times what a tour agency would squeeze in.  He's phenomenol at planning.  Masterful
•  takes on about 95% of the cooking and dishwashing
•  mends
•  irons
•  does the yardwork
•  paints inside and out
•  makes exotic homemade soaps for special romantic gifts
•  is always on time
•  makes the most delectable boules (French peasant breads with only yeast, flour, salt, and water) to eat with his amazing soups
•  keeps trim and fit
•  gives me lots of good belly laughs...very cerebral sense of humor.  Not much on frivolity.
•  untangles all my technology snafus
•  loves to invite people over and cook for them
•  maintains a cool new website
•  gives great backrub "treatments" to Mugsy and me
•  loves to soak in the bathtub (his one self indulgence)
•  reads any and every book about Roosevelts
•  can't get enough of Downton Abbey
•  is very very content
•  delights in surprising me with all manner of things
•  loves to haul hay to our animals on his little blue tractor
•  bears no malice for anyone--unlike the shrew he married
•  home teaches religiously
•  does carpentry work around the house upon request
•  loves to tote around a large backpack whenever we go anywhere and gets giddy if he has something in it that you ever actually need!  He used to "backpack" across Time Square in a suit when he worked in the city.  Very distinguishable among the throngs.
•  loves to pour over seed catalogs and Mother Earth News.  I think it surprises even him that deep down inside him was a Granola!!
•  gives conference-worthy talks!!!  Really he does.
•  is the BEST teacher.  When he got released as gospel doctrine teacher in Princeton, some friends of ours wore black armbands in protest!
•  watches Perry Mason ad nauseum
•  talks to himself even when I'm around--it's his method of problem solving from politics to sociological concerns
•  swings an ax like Paul Bunyan and amasses an incredible amount of firewood every fall
•  teaches me French children's songs
•  strums a mean guitar (and supposedly banjo too, although I've yet to confirm that.  He may be a closet one of those.)
•  mimics some people perfectly, although he'll deny that and won't do it publicly
•  perfect griller
•  surprises me--I came home to jumbalaya tonight!!!  A first!
•  sings duets with me
•  has read the Harry Potter books all through 4 times
•  loves Mad

"And now a word from our sponsors..."

In the last 48 hours I have had two separate in-depth conversations about black salve.  If your curiosity is piqued and you're sprinting to Google, please do so on an empty stomach, preferably alone.  The world of black salve is not pretty.  The first conversation took place at Elisa's. Her father is an old beau of my sister, and her grandfather was my 6th grade teacher who taught me how to play the harmonica.   Both her father and grandfather fought and are fighting cancer.  (aside if I may--During my sixth grade year Mr. Rigby--the grandfather--faded out for cancer treatment and left a pretty young Quaker gal as the sub for about 4 months which is another story).  Last week her father began applying black salve to a skin cancer behind his ear.  Picture a gob of tar.  As she described it, "A round tumor with legs was drawn out."  They put that sucker in a jar...well, I should hope so.  The resulting hole is now knitting back together.  Which leads me to my next conversation which took place at knitting.  One of the knitters works for a chiropractor who makes this stuff--very very carefully because black salve CAN go wrong--awfully dreadfully wrong--and remove entire noses or ears!!!  I KNOW!!!!!  And I'm not through!!!!!!  Yesterday I came home to a huge box from the San Francisco Herb Co. on the counter.  Paco's been pouring over books in bed every night--natural tinctures and salves, herbal remedies.  The box that arrived held bags of dried herbs--calendula, comfrey to name a few.  Brown bottles too of "essences" he says.  I haven't had a chance to grill him, but  the thoughts of scaring up some salves and potions is inevitable.  We'll need some boils and festulas to practice on, so hopefully you'll all pitch in there.  In the event that this all leads to black salve, run like the wind...

Brutally Honest, 3:28 A.M.

I'm thinking that 60 is going to buy me some license--maybe license to dress outlandishly (or outlandishliER) or wear slippers in public.  At the very least, perhaps the license to be more forthcoming with my opinions awaits me.  On the eve of my 59th year and 12th month, I bring you (drumroll...) a never before viewed or voiced list of confessions and opinions---unsolicited, unexpurgated, unedited:

• I don't like to babysit anyone I'm not related to.  I watch the clock pretty much the whole time.

I did NOT accidentally drop and shatter my glasses in the bathtub as I was cleaning it when I was 12.  I threw them down in a fit of anger and rebellion.

I am a shy introvert.  Everything that you have seen or may see is a huge huge effort learned over the years.  I prefer to be alone. 

That Subaru incident in Texas in 1982...I DO know how that dent happened.  It was a tree.  I was backing.

I threw a rocking chair at my last missionary companion.  Fortunately she understood and started me on some needlepoint the next day. 

I did pick up change around the house and buy copious amounts of candy which I hid when I was an adolescent.  I'm so ashamed of that, but it feels good to get it out now.

I forgot to vote once.

I don't like carrot pudding, but because it was a family recipe and was made out of love, I pretended to think it was fabulous.

I attend meetings, but I do so grudgingly.

I am never really happy unless I'm planning a trip, taking a trip, or thinking about the trip I just took.

The odder the person/kid the more I like them.

I got the uncontrollable giggles in the temple once.

I think about death.  A lot.  It doesn't scare me.  I would so like to be on the other side.  If that happens to me, be calm.

Before life kicked me around I was more funny.  I'm hoping that comes back when I'm resurrected.

My natural state is not orderly.  I like interesting piles around me.  That is a war I continue to fight.

I've done my very best teaching based on a lesson plan I thought up that day in the five minute drive to school.   Flies in the face of most of what I've been taught in universities. 

I've never really told anyone the WHOLE story about some of my life's drama...and I probably won't.

I am still keeping some dark secrets someone confided to me in the 90's.  I wish I could forget.

I once had a stake president I didn't like at all.  There.  That's out.  Didn't like his wife either. 

I don't buy generic. 

I don't like to hike up mountains.  I like meadows or level hiking in high altitudes or circumventing lakes.

Small yippy Mexican dogs...not even

I once took an oath (during a bizarre little ceremony we dreamed up--candles--)with some freshman roommates that I wouldn't kiss until I got married.  I kept that for about 4 years, and I so regret it.   It made for interesting date conversation, but I should have grabbed a few more kisses!  (I haven't mentioned this for 40 years!!)

I don't like breaded fish.  Why do I continue to eat it?

Beaches don't do much for me.  Sand repulses me.  Swimming suits have NEVER fit.  I've always felt set apart from the rest of the world who appears beach-crazed.  I like lakes, but oceans are just plain scary.  Deep, dark...

I get annoyed EVERY time the phone rings.  EVERY time.  That doesn't mean I don't like to talk.  But when it rings...I feel anxious.

Now I'll end with an opinion.  I'm glad my religion's culture is not the same thing as the religion.  Have a smashing day.

Tatching a Toad??

Today felt a little like spring.  Before anyone runs out and fills up the wading pool, I hasten to add that spring in Brrrrrrr Lake would be winter to many of you.  But we take our perks where we can nowadays.  Except for New Year's Day when the angel of death tap danced on my stomach all day, I have not even had a sniffle.  A friend, however, was complaining about a cold coming on today.  I couldn't help but rush in all Jewish-mother-ish and give her my favorite remedy.  This advice came to me via a Hungarian piano professor, Gyorgy Sebok, at Indiana University about 30 years ago.  He picked it up in Japan.  When you feel cold symptoms coming on, ask someone to hold both of your elbows in one of his hands.  Just one.  Either your right or left elbow will feel colder to the touch.  Once your elbow holder friend has decided which of your elbows is colder (and believe me one WILL feel colder), plunge that elbow in warm warm water and hold it there for a bit.  And that's it.  I double dog dare you to give it a try.  Then I'll tell you my favorite hiccup cure.  Deal?

Serendipity!

I was leaving the public library yesterday--almost out the door--when this book jumped out at me from the shelves of used books for sale.  THIS was THE favorite book of my kids when we lived in Austin, TX, back in the day!!!!  I freaked out when I saw it!!!  It was oozing with the past goodness of times gone by--3 little white-headed kids, bi-weekly trips on the University of Texas shuttle bus downtown to the library, hunkering down in that cool castle to read in the children's section.  And this book was the star. Copyright 1978! We checked it out over and over and over and over.  It is completely wordless and tells the story of an expedition into the deepest of jungles to catch a glimpse of a very special ape.  You may not be able to read the subtitle--"Being the True Version of the Famous Saga of Adventure and Friendship Newly Discovered".   I'm reading 60 children's books outloud (I know.  I know.  You're saying, "ENOUGH already with the 60 stuff!"), so off to school this will go with me today.  In the meantime I'm basking in nostalgia...carrying Thomas up that hill to the library, packing everybody's backpack with books, eating pb&j on the way home, story hour...